The Knife of Doubt
by Icefire149
Summary: this is for the village square writing contest. the theme is doubt. this story is about the horrible pain of doubt felt when you love someone and you dont know if they love you back. read and review please, thanks


**Icefire149 here with a new story for the Village Square writing contest. The theme is doubt. I hope you all enjoy reading this!!!! Remember to read and review!**

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**Disclaimer- I do not own Harvest Moon or any of its characters **

**The Knife of Doubt**

Doubt, it's the fear that takes the form of a knife. A knife that cuts your heart until it bleeds dry and you have nothing but one lonely frayed strand of hope. But all that can be felt is an everlasting ocean of pain that drowns you.

An endless pit of hell's fires seems to be better than the feeling of doubt I feel now.

Doubt is the one emotion I wish I never felt. I would give almost anything tp never feel doubt again. I never knew it would feel as horrid as is has or that it could be influenced so easily with my emotions by the one I love most.

She may not know it but everything she does influences my heart. Her smile makes me smile, the light in her eyes makes me want to look in them all day, her laugh is like the sweetest song I must hear over and over again. Just one glance in my direction makes my stomach flutter like its full of butterflies.

But when she's gone I'm a black hole, a bottomless pit of despair. Without her I'm nothing, no one, I don't exist.

If only she knew she held such control over my heart this way. But then my heart was hers. I didn't want it back. It was hers to keep.

The more I realize I feel this way about her the more that knife cuts me. It fills my head and body with pain. Everything I hope and dream to be true about me and her, it twist it and turns it into nothing but a pure fantasy. Every sign that gives me hope that she returns the feelings I have, it convinces me into believing it untrue.

I may feel this way about her, but does she feel this way about me? it's the question that keeps me up into the early hours of the morning. It races through my mind more than anything else. Every time she smiles I wonder. Every time she greets me I wonder. Every time she looks my way I wonder. It drives me practically insane. I want to know, and at this point I have to, I need to know.

It's quite possible that she doesn't feel the same way. I've known her for as long as I can remember. We're always laughing and joking. For as long as I can remember its never been a dull moment. She has always been my best friend. But that could be it. She only likes me as a friend, nothing more.

Or doe she? Does she feel the same way? Is it possible for her to feel the same way? Has she ever thought of me in that way? Am I always going to be just her childhood friend?

Every unanswered question is another wound made by the swift slash of that blade. Every question causing it to cut deeper and deeper.

But now I'm at the end of my rope. I'm bled dry, and torn apart. My torturer was doubt. I was at the point that I needed to know, it was now or never. But as I'm confident that I'm going to find out it makes me wonder, how do I tell her?

If she doesn't feel the same way will she still be my friend? Will she speak to me again? Will our friendship change? Will we drift apart? Or will everything remain the same?

Just when I thought I was done, bled dry, torn apart, doubt found a way to bleed me and rip me limb from limb all over again. It makes me wonder how do I get rid of this doubt? The stress, the pain, and all of the racing thoughts give me migraines that seem to last forever.

My best solution to temporarily calm myself is a walk near the waterfall by the hot springs in the mountains. The heat from the hot springs creates a calming atmosphere that can calm me even when the pain is at its worst.

Before I knew it I was there at the river sitting on the ground with my arms holding my legs close. I just stared at the waterfall as each droplet of water fell and ricocheted. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I willed the questions to stop and begged the knife to end its slashing.

"Are you ok?" a voice all too familiar said from behind me.

I didn't have to open my eyes to know it was the girl with the two shining dark orbs for eyes, the long braided dark hair, and the smile that warms my heart.

I opened my eyes and looked up. _No_. I wanted to say. I just looked into her worried expression as my mind waged war with its self.

_Tell her! Tell her! _my thoughts cried.

But the slashing pain came with the thoughts, _Don't bother, there is no way she will ever go out with you._

What should I do?

_Tell her!_

_Don't!_

_Tell her!_

_Don't!_

_Tell_

_Don't_

"Stu?" she said.

I snapped back to attention as my gaze met her worried gaze.

"I love you." I muttered with out thinking.

Her eyes widened.

My breath stopped.

After a pause her face softened as she smiled. She brought her hand to my face and I instinctually leaned my face into it. With her gaze locked with mine she said, "I've always loved you too."


End file.
